Tuesday, October 6, 2009

October Musings

It's fall again. A time of year I love very much. The cool air feels so good in my lungs. Much better than the stifling hot dust of summer. And I adore Halloween. Seeing the kiddies in the neighborhood dressed up for the big night fills my soul with sunshine. But as much as I love the fall, this is also a difficult time of year for me. Twenty-four years ago today my mother ended her struggle with mental illness. She was 42 years old. I'll be 42 next year. Something that causes me to pause and think a lot. I think many daughters who have lost mothers find it odd to come upon the age their mothers were when they died. I have heard these stories. I understand them now. It feels so young - 41. Fourty-two isn't going to feel much older. She had so much to live for. And yet...she also lived in great shame about her illness (paranoid schizophrenia). The unbalance became too much. I understand...and I don't. But that was her journey and she chose her way. We all do the best we can do with what we have, I believe.

Whoooosh. That was heavy. I guess it's a heavy sort of day. :) But the brightness within this day (besides the nice cool, sunny weather) is that I have an amazing array of "art friends" to lighten up my mind. If you want to see some pure art love, check out some of the folks on my list to the right. These are amazing women full of imagination, color and light. And I am thankful daily for their presence - no matter how small - in my life!

So I shall leave this post with some recent art I created for one of those amazing women - Jennifer R.D. I was lucky enough to meet Jenn in person TWICE and spend some time with her. What a joyous soul, indeed! Her theme was WINDOWS and I chose RED AND PINK as my main colors. It is simple, but meaningful. It is about opening your soul to sunlight, to sisters, to nature, to life. I hope you enjoy your pages, sweet girl!


peggy gatto said...

I love the pages, color and simplicity of design.
So, you're havin a birthday!

martha brown said...

I love these pages, tam! And I also can't wait for Calre and Jaime to return. oops! I just remembered right this minute that I am supposed to be photoshopping something for you. My bad. Will do it asap.

martha brown said...

That would be Clare and Jaime. Happy trigger fingers, I have.....

Kelly Snelling_Soulhumming.typepad.com said...

i love you, tam. i'm sending hugs to hold you and laughter to surround you. xoxo-k

Julie Fillo said...

Hey Tam, I could really relate to this post, I am 52 this year and my dad died at age 52. It is a little freaky for me too. He had type one diabetes and all the attendant health probs, but it still gives one pause.


barbara burkard said...

sending hugz and much love...the pages are wonderful!

Jennifer R.D. said...

Wowza! I AM a lucky girl! I love the pages you did for me! Thank you soooo much!
I am blessed to have such a talented, thoughtful, sparkly, glitter- sister !

Lille Diane said...

Thank you for sharing with about your Mom. People still don't understand mental disease but it certainly is a lot better than it was for your Mom's generation. I am using art, blogging, and photography to help me get over PTSD after a bad auto accident. I saw your profile, and believe we may be kindred spirits. Here's a hug. ((((((Tam)))))))) you'll do just fine at 42, and I believe you will feel more peace as you get closer. =]

Stracci`s BLOG said...

After I read this Post, i just could/would give you a very big Hug! I cannot even Imagine a live without my Mom. And I want to say what a wonderful work you did with this. the Idea of Cuting the Picture in pices is faboulus!! I really have to link your blog to mine, so i dont miss to come back and see the other Things you make! Now, i have to go in my bed, i just sleept in front of my Lapptop as so often in the last time ggg
Lovley Autumn-Greeting from Vienna!!

Papillon Bleu said...

I love the colours very much.

littlepurpleroom said...

I can so relate to your post.
I lost my mother to cancer when she was 32. Now my daughter just turned 33. I am 51 now, but I remember when I was 33 and it was weird to think that I was now older than my mom.

My dad is still kicking at 85, wonder how I'll feel when I get to that age.

My art has become a major part of helping me keep it together.

Big hugs to you sista !
Thanks for stopping by Turn Left at the Pigs.
And I think it is wonderful what you are doing for your friend and her family with the 4X4 book.